Leadership, Change, and Communication: A Conversation with CEO, and Former TEDx Talk Coach, Jacqueline Farrington

From confidence, conviction, and connection to rehearsal, Jacqueline Farrington shares her wealth of communication expertise with us.

Jacqueline also draws from her recent book "The Non-Obvious Guide to Better Presentations: How to Present Like a Pro (Virtually or in Person)" to leave us with some concrete ideas for improving our communication and presentation game. 

Until next time, communicate with intention and lead with purpose.

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Transcript

Dr. Leah OH: 0:00

Former TED X senior speaker, coach and presentations expert Jacqueline Farrington joins us today on the communicative leader. She has over 20 years experience inspiring transformation and innovation among leaders and their teams through communication. She has also recently published a book the non obvious guide to better presentations, how to present like a pro virtually or in person. Today, she leaves us with some really thoughtful pragmatic tips to help improve our communication and our presentation skills. Hello, and welcome to the communicative leader hosted by me Dr. Leah Omilion-Hodges. My friends call me Dr. OH. I'm a Professor of Communication and a leadership communication expert, and the communicative leader. We're working to make your work life what you want it to be. Jacqueline, I'm so excited to have you on the communicative leader, and you've done so much incredible work and communications. And before we dive into this, can you give us a little bit of background on yourself?

Jacqueline Farrington: 1:06

Thank you, Leah. It's a delight to be here. And thank you for having me on the show. I got my start. Well, I'll go back before I got my start. I think as long as I can remember, I was always very curious about human beings, and why people do the things that they do. And that actually led me to pursue a master's in theater. And I'm a professionally trained actor. And I worked as a professional actor for many years in New York. And while I was doing that, I got the opportunity to teach at the Yale School of Drama, and I taught there for about 14 years. And while at Yale, I was working with people in the School of Management in the law school, and discovered not only that I loved teaching more than acting because I, I loved that lightbulb moment when somebody discovers a an exciting, life changing insight. But I also loved working with non actors, because the work that we did was so powerful for not just their life at work, but also their personal life. So I decided to go back to school, got another Master's degree in communications, and then left Yale in 2003, to start my business. And so today, I work with leaders on the challenges that they face around leadership, change and communications.

Dr. Leah OH: 2:38

And I love that chat. I love so much of what you said. And that one thing that really connects with me is that when we work on our communication, when we think about that, certainly it helps us at work. And usually that's the primary goal. But like you said, it helps you personally in navigating relationships with your partner, with your family, with kids with neighbors. So it's really the gift that keeps on giving. Yes,

Jacqueline Farrington: 3:05

and needed now more than ever in the world.

Dr. Leah OH: 3:10

Exactly. And so a way that you've continued to work on this expertise and share your knowledge is to create a new book. So in this book, the non obvious guide to better presentations, how to present like a pro virtually or in person, they love this, you you give us these three C's of presence, confidence, conviction, and connection. So I'd like to ask you a few questions about how we can improve in each area. So I'm going to start with confidence. And I think this one, it's so hard, you know, I'm I'm a fellow educator, and we want everyone to have more confidence. But it's really hard to consider how we make that these tangible, pragmatic ways. So we know that it's crucial, we know that it feels a little abstract. So what types of strategies or exercises do you recommend for speakers to really develop those those confidence muscles?

Jacqueline Farrington: 4:12

Yeah, there are loads of tools and strategies for building your confidence muscle, I'd say the first and probably the most important is to become aware of your thoughts. And how do your thoughts support you in the moment? Or how do they hinder you in the moment this is something that peak athletes are very aware of? Muhammad Ali is one of the best examples of that the way that he managed his thinking around an event was pretty extraordinary. And so what I say to clients is, when you're preparing for a presentation, focus on what you do want to create, versus what you do not want to create. So often have clients say to me what What happens if I forget what I'm saying if I just completely go blank, or what happens if my slides don't work? And the more you think about that, and think, oh my God, I know I'm gonna go out there and I'm going to completely mess up and I'm going to be a failure and on and on and on, the greater chance you have a priming your brain to actually create that behavior. But my husband for many years was an extreme sports tour guide. And he said to me that one of the things they learned in their their training was never to say to a client don't step over there. Because inevitably, everyone would step over there where exactly where they didn't want them to. So retrain your your thoughts learn the power of reframing. So for example, if you're thinking, Oh, my God, I'm terrified, I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to make a big mistake and forget what I'm saying, Stop, reframe, say to yourself, Okay, I'm prepared, I've done my homework. If I forget what I'm saying, I have a plan. I have some phrases that I've tucked in my back pocket, that I might say to the audience, or maybe I'm just going to pause and take a breath and let my brain come back, because it will come back. Or maybe I'm even going to say, Hey, I forgotten what I'm saying. I don't know what I'm saying right now. But you know what, I'm going to move to another section of my presentation, and I'll come back when that thought returns to me, because I know that audiences appreciate and respect people who are human who are human beings and make mistakes and recover. So that's an example of how we can reframe our thoughts in a very realistic way to support us rather than hinder us.

Dr. Leah OH: 6:56

Yes, I love the end link. You're saying you love a speaker who is human that vulnerability and recognizing that, you know, they're they share some similarities, because a lot of times I think speakers appear to have the superhuman, this charisma, this something that we ourselves can cultivate. But in those moments, it really begins to feel like something that maybe with practice, or maybe a whole bunch of practice that we're actually capable of, to gosh, thank you, Jacqueline, I really enjoyed all of those suggestions. Let's move on to your second C connection. So we know building and maintaining a strong connection with your audience. It's essential for an impactful presentation. So what do you suggest how can we establish this immediate connection? And also keep our audience engaged?

Jacqueline Farrington: 7:49

Yes, well, the first tool to being connected with your audience is being present with your audience. Rather than thinking about what am I saying next? Where am I standing? How am I saying what I'm saying, which are all questions that should be answered in rehearsal rather than right there in the moment on the on the day, being present in the room means being 100% focused on your audience, feeling sensing their energy, sensing the way they're responding to what you're saying, and not checking out mentally. So if you don't already have some kind of a mindfulness practice where you practice, keeping your mind present engaged in the moment in the room, while you're there speaking, then start practicing mindfulness, it just takes a few minutes a day, so that you start to notice when your mind checks out, and how can you then bring yourself back into the present moment, it's also important to build moments into your presentation where you're listening. That might be if you're giving a virtual presentation that might be running a poll, in a live presentation, it might be asking questions of your audience, or even just building pauses in your presentation, to pause and listen, listen to how your audiences is responding. And then the last thing I'd say is to be curious, and culturally competent. Learn as much about your audience as you can before the day what are their preferences? What do they know about your topic? What do they not know about your topic? What are their values, and it can be helpful to give a cultural nod to their their customs, their values, that might be speaking a few words of their language, when you start your presentation, audiences actually really appreciate that they appreciate that effort for wearing a color or something that is culturally specific to them, just giving that nod of respect to them. So those are Some small ways that you can build that connection right off the bat for that

Dr. Leah OH: 10:05

thoughtful response, Jacqueline. And one thing that I never would have connected was mindfulness or meditation and the ability to to deliver a better speech, or it'd be more engaging and more present. That is certainly something that I'm going to be practicing more. And now I'd like to ask you about that third C conviction. We know that this is often connected with being a persuasive speaker. So what techniques or approaches can we use to convey our message with conviction and influence our audience

Jacqueline Farrington: 10:39

when it comes to conviction? Finding what in your presentation resonates with your values? Now, this one is sometimes a tough one, because I often have clients say to me, yeah, nothing resonates with my values, I just have to give this presentation. Maybe it's just a project update. But taking a step back and thinking about, Okay, why is this project update important? Why is it important to my audience? Why do they need this information? How am I helping them? How am I being of service by giving them this information, that's a small way that you can find a connection with your own personal values in something as seemingly mundane as a project update, then also aiming for helpful rather than good. When we aim to be helpful to our audience, we then switch that frame, there's another reframe. And we become our presence in the room is about being of service to our audience, rather than when we think about I've got to be good, I've got to be perfect. I've got to succeed in this presentation, all of our attention goes on to ourselves, not on our audience. And that then leads to lack of conviction, lack of presence in the room, so aimed to be helpful and not good. And then finally, think about what is your bigger purpose for being here today? Is, is there a need that you're fulfilling a way that you are being of service? What is that purpose that is larger than you? It's not about you, it's about why you're here today. So connecting with your wife,

Dr. Leah OH: 12:29

Jacqueline, I'd like us to return to connection. And this is when we know that building connection, it also requires a degree of confidence is understanding our audience and adapting our presentation to their needs. How can we effectively assess our audience and tailor our messages even on the spot to better meet their specific expectations? Yes, well, knowing your presentation

Jacqueline Farrington: 12:56

helps a lot. Really internalizing your your presentation slideshow had a survey that came out last year. And they found that audiences now are responding to and expecting pre presenters speakers to change their presentation based on what the audience needs in the moment. We can't do that if we don't really know our presentation. So the analogy I like to use is like a house, think of your presentation like a house. And if it's your house, you know how to get from the front door to the master bedroom quickly. But if you needed to get to the master bedroom and enter through the back door, or through the bathroom window, or the the side door, regardless of which way you entered the house, you still would be able to find a path to the master bedroom. And that's how you need to think of your presentation. Practice your presentation starting in the middle of it. But getting to the end, practice starting at the end and working your way backwards. So that you know that presentation from the back from the front from the side. And you can then switch change it up in the moment if you need to. And we I mentioned earlier, being curious about your audience. take that a step further. Research your audience, learn whatever you can about them. If it's an organization, ask if you can visit the organization, go to their website, speak to people at the company, ask them about their their culture, their needs, their desires, their their goals, their their vision. And so learning as much about your audience as you can, can really help build that connection. And then the other thing I'd say is practice improvisation. Take a class. They're really fun. Yeah, they can be a little scary. But improvisation not only teaches you to pivot In the moment and adapt in the moment, but it also teaches you to be present with other people, and to listen very carefully. So take an improvisation class, you can do it online, or, or practice improvisation by yourself, you can do that just by free association. If you spot something in your office, I've got a pair of glasses here. So if I spot a pair of glasses come up with three uses for those glasses that have nothing to do with what they're really used for glasses, a vase for flowers, I can make a really cool flower arrangement, I could use these two as a microphone to resonate my voice amplify my voice, yes. Okay, they're not really uses for the glasses. But it helps you build that improvisation muscle and just go with whatever comes into your mind.

Dr. Leah OH: 15:53

So it's a really neat aspect of your background in theater and being able to bring in these techniques that again, in a traditional communication program, a business program and Executive MBA, that we're not going to traditionally encounter. So that's a really helpful thing for us to consider. And, you know, in that same ballpark, another thing that I've been thinking about in getting ready to chat with you and public speaking, a lot of times we don't think about body language or nonverbal communication until we're in the moment. So can you talk to us a little bit about the role body language and nonverbals, you know, play in presentations, and maybe some strategies to that we can be mindful of.

Jacqueline Farrington: 16:42

Yes, body language, nonverbal communication. And I would add to that vocal communication as well, they do go hand in hand. They're important because we convey emotional intelligence or lack of emotional intelligence, through our body language, and our voice. In human communication. There are always two conversations going on, at any given moment, conversation, one are the words that we speak conversation, two is the intent, the emotion, the meaning, behind those words, and that comes from the nonverbal communication and the voice. So for example, if I say to you, can you come in my office? I want to speak to you, I could say, can you come in my office, I want to speak to you. Or I could say, can you? Can you come into my, my office, I want to speak to you or I could say, can you come into my office, I want to speak to you, the words are exactly the same, but I've changed them with my body language and my voice. So we convey emotional intelligence through those mechanisms. And a way to develop them to grow is to first think about awareness. You can't change anything, you can't develop anything until you're first aware of how you're currently doing it. So to build that awareness, record yourself, do a body language and a voice audit. Record yourself, watch yourself, notice what's working, but also what's not working what you want to change, it's important to also notice what's working, because you want to build on that. Ask people for feedback. Ask them to describe the presence you create in the room and why ask them to describe your voice ask them to describe your body language. And so once you then build that awareness, it becomes easier to identify what you want to change and then start to slowly incorporate changes into how you use body language and voice have

Dr. Leah OH: 18:53

another element on the heels of their question about body language and voice rehearsal. Right? I think this is one that a lot of times we don't talk about enough. So what are some things we should be mindful of before we go in to give that presentation?

Jacqueline Farrington: 19:10

I love talking about rehearsal. Rehearsal is so important. And it's it's something that I see people overlook a lot. I'll see leaders who have a communications team, they'll spend weeks if not months, perfecting the content, but then they won't spend any time or barely any time looking at how how they deliver it and and both of those things are important in communication. So the first thing with rehearsal is to think about internalizing rather than memorizing. By that I mean that memorizing is about rote memorization. It's like we memorize a telephone number to go to the phone and just spit out that that number at the phone and make the call and move on. And that is then in our working memory, it's the memory that we need right now in the moment to function. Internalizing is about committing things to long term memory. That's the part of our brain that we use to store information like driving a car skiing, where we don't have to even think about it, it just becomes a habit, it's so ingrained in us that we don't have to think about it. And that's where you want your presentation to be. By the time you walk out for performance. If on the day of performance, you're having to think about, where am I standing? How am I using my gestures? How am I delivering this with my voice, what comes next in my presentation, all those questions that creates cognitive overload on the day, it crowds out any chance we have of being present with our audience. So work towards internalizing, and the way that we do that is stand up, get up on your feet, try things out. You'll make mistakes, go back, try it again, you'll find things that you don't like things that you do, like, the more you can speak aloud, move while you're speaking, standing, the more you'll start to internalize and really thinking about what's the emotion I'm conveying here, what's my intent here. But But then it's also important within rehearsal, to build stress and failure into your rehearsal. And again, this is something that that peak performing athletes know, if you build stress. And you can do that very easily presenting to an audience, a mock audience, or even your family, turn the video camera on, you would be surprised how much stress that correct can create just knowing that the video camera is on, or try going through your talk as fast as you can, without missing any moment without missing any key concept that you need to communicate. Usually, that will make you trip up. And so when you trip up, then rather than stopping, you have to work your way through it, you have to handle it. Getting off script. So getting getting your notes out of eyesight as early as possible, it's painful, but it really does work to teach your brain to manage both stress and failure on the day. And because performances and presentations are high stakes moments. So you really want to teach your brain to manage stress and failure on the day. And you do that by incorporating it into your rehearsal. One

Dr. Leah OH: 22:46

thing I was struck in your responses, if it's so helpful is the connection to public speaking and this delivery and in sports, right, that performance. And thinking of that I think helps to bring a lot of folks peace who feel really nervous, really anxious about this public delivery. Because it'd be the same feeling if you're out there in the middle of a soccer game and had a shoot a penalty kick or it's your time to shoot free throws, right? We know that stress inducing. So I think that can give our listeners some freedom and recognizing maybe some validation in that you're not alone. This is challenging. So Jacqueline, another thing I found myself thinking about was how do we kind of strike that balance between detail and depth, but also clarity and brevity? Because again, if we too much information, we can start to lose those main points, too little information, and we're left with gaps or holes in the argument or ideas presented. So again, how do we, you know, have a succinct message, a one that is clear and connects with our audience.

Jacqueline Farrington: 24:02

When it comes to brevity, start first with the end in mind. By that I mean that when your audience walks out at the end of your presentation, what is the one key idea you want them to get, put it into one sentence. And then once you've written that one sentence, take that sentence down to seven words like a newspaper headline, so that you distill that one key idea. And then as you're building your presentation, make sure that every content, every piece of content you put in there speaks to that one key idea. If it doesn't, then eliminate it. So begin with the end in mind, also speak to the gap. And by the gap. I mean, the gap between what your audience knows about this topic and what they don't know. And that's that gap that you're speaking to. The number one complaint I get from senior executives when someone were to Near is presenting to them is that they put way too much information in there. And so you don't want to be giving, for example, that the history of this topic, if they already know the history of the topic, so speak to the knowledge gap. And then the other thing is to practice going from key idea to key idea. It's almost like you're writing a piece of poetry with your presentation. So you're just going from key idea to key idea, eliminating any extraneous words, and that helps you then get to the spine of your presentation.

Dr. Leah OH: 25:38

Begin with the end in mind, really thoughtful advice. And again, very tangible, something that we can all start to incorporate into our practice. So Jacqueline, my next question really comes from a leadership standpoint, again, leadership communication scholar, I tend to draw things back to leading and was thinking about authentic leadership, because we know what tends to be the most effective and most prized, because what we see is what we get, right? This leaders leaning into who they are capitalizing on their strengths, just embracing their idiosyncrasies. So to that end, we know authenticity is really important. It's an essential aspect of communication. But for some, maybe even for many, it can be really challenging to feel like your authentic self when you're presenting. So how can speakers tap into their authenticity and be their genuine selves while delivering a presentation?

Jacqueline Farrington: 26:40

Yes, yeah, it's the authentic leadership is, is, has been for many years, a hot topic. And years ago, I used to work with clients on something called executive presence. And that's a hot topic, it's a buzzword than we hear around lately. And I've switched in the past few years, instead to talking about strategic presence. executive presence tends to be very limited, and exclusionary, it's this idea of, if I can just achieve this one thing that is usually set by the leadership at the top, if I can achieve this kind of cookie cutter idea of leadership, then I will make it and because of that it can be exclusionary, because it doesn't recognize other cultures, it doesn't recognize other values, other ways of doing things. Strategic presence is about tapping into your multiple identities, your roles that you play in life, your lived experiences and your values, to adapt how you communicate in the moment, so that you meet the audience halfway, and help them hear your message in this moment. And so we do that, by really understanding ourselves understanding all of our lived experiences, I ask clients to just list this out, think about all the experiences you've played in life, all the roles that you play, all of your identities, and the values that each of those roles, highlights that that you bring to those roles. And then as you go into a crucial communications situation, asking yourself, okay for this audience, to hear this message, how do I need to show up in this moment? And what part of myself do I need to amplify, to meet my audience halfway? I think that's much more authentic because it allows leaders to bring their whole selves to work. Rather than this. One idea of this is executive presence. We are more complex than that as human beings. And I think it's important to embrace that complexity rather than limit ourselves to a cookie cutter idea of executive presence.

Dr. Leah OH: 29:16

And your response is a really nice reminder of how far we've come in terms of being our authentic selves, whether we're at work or at home or at the grocery store. So Jacqueline, I have a couple more questions for you. And before we kind of move into these tips for leaders, I'd like to talk about technology. We know that has changed how we deliver presentations, and we know that remote presentations are becoming more and more common. So what advice do you have for speakers when they're delivering presentations using different digital platforms?

Jacqueline Farrington: 29:54

Well run a tech check every time always run that check, check out Have a plan in place for when the technology goes wrong because chances are you will. But get a good camera and a microphone. Don't use the microphone and the camera in your laptop, they're not very high quality, and that can distance you from your audience. And then really the most important thing around technology is to make sure that technology is used to build connection. Rather than alienate your audience. I was part of an audience the other day, where the speaker just kept running poll after poll after poll, it was kind of like he decided to rely on polls to create connections with his audience. And it had the opposite effect, it created distance with the speaker. So be judicious about things like polls, they can be a great way to connect with your audience. But I find they're most effective when you offer an opportunity for the group to reflect on the outcome of the poll, either in chat or coming off of their mute on their microphone and speaking live. So that you build that reflection or or maybe it's giving them an opportunity to go into breakout groups and talk about, so make sure that you you judiciously mix up your use of technology with live communication at the same time.

Dr. Leah OH: 31:26

Jacqueline, I have two final questions for you. And the communicative leader. We'd like to leave listeners with pragmatic leadership or communication tips, advice, challenges to that and what advice do you have for our titled leaders out there?

Jacqueline Farrington: 31:42

I think the most important thing for leaders is to always be mindful of the connection between leadership and communication. You cannot be an effective leader if you're not an effective communicator. And also be aware of not always delegating 100%, your communication to your your comms teams, your communications teams, have a role in that, decide and be clear on how you need to show up as a leader and as a communicator and play an active role in that with your communications teams is

Dr. Leah OH: 32:23

You are right, Jacqueline. We cannot be an effective leader without effective communication. If we're not a good communicator, a strong communicator, we might have some wins as a leader, but they're likely to be pretty short lived when we can't develop and maintain these relationships or communicate a clear vision. So I really appreciate that response. And my final question for you, what do you want to leave all employees with these employees all ranks across all industries? So what is the advice tip or challenge related to leadership or communication for these friends?

Jacqueline Farrington: 33:01

Prepare, prepare prepare. For for employees, more junior people, you cannot be prepared enough preparation sets you free. It allows you to pivot in the moment it allows you to play. When you don't have to think about all those questions you answer in preparation. You then free up your brain, you don't create cognitive overload if you're having to figure it all out on the day. So I can't stress that enough. And then I think to both employees and leaders, the last thing I'd leave you with is commit to being a lifelong student of communications, we can all be better communicators, and it is a lifelong learning. We will stop learning the day we die. So be open, be curious, be committed to learning.

Dr. Leah OH: 33:58

Gosh, isn't that the truth? Oh, Jacqueline, thank you. Again, I really have enjoyed our conversation. You have left me with so many tips. And again, I have a PhD in communication, folks. So the expertise that Jacqueline has cultivated is really, really incredible. And again, the pragmatics are things that we can all start to work on, to feel like a stronger communicator to make those connections with our audience, and to speak in a way that influences the audience in the way in which we attend. So again, thank you for joining us on the communicative leader. It's been a pleasure. Alright, my friends, that wraps up our conversation today. Until next time, communicate with intention and lead with purpose. Looking forward to chatting with you again soon. I'm the communicative leader.